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  1. Tags
    Summary

    I wrote this story with the idea of exploring what happens in between the flashbacks and the mini-episodes that go from Edinburgh 1827 to the moment Aziraphale and Crowley meet again in 1967, because there’s a thread that ties them all together, and that thread is holy water.
    I wanted to stick to canon as much as possible, but obviously, with the Ineffables I can never quite keep my urge to see them together under control, not even in one-shots, let alone in a long fic. So yes, there’s a completely non-canon love confession, and a period where Aziraphale and Crowley are actually a couple.
    Another small non-canon detail: at the beginning of the story, Crowley doesn’t live in Mayfair but in Bloomsbury for plot reasons.
    The original Italian title is a common saying whose literal translation would be “Like the devil and holy water.” It refers to two opposite, incompatible things or people that repel each other. Since it’s impossible to translate it faithfully into English, I chose an alternative that conveys the meaning of the original expression, though sadly it loses the reference to holy water.

    The fic is complete, I’ll be posting one chapter every Sunday.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,873
    Chapters:
    2/10
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    122
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Ho scritto questa storia con l’idea di raccontare quello che succede tra i flashback e i miniepisodi che vanno da Edimburgo 1827 al momento in cui Aziraphale e Crowley si incontrano nel 1967, perché c’è un filo conduttore che li lega tutti, ed è l’acqua santa. Volevo attenermi al canon il più possibile, ma ovviamente con gli Ineffabili non riesco a tenere a freno la mia voglia di vederli insieme nemmeno nelle one shot, figurarsi in una long: quindi c’è una dichiarazione d’amore assolutamente non canon, e un periodo in cui Aziraphale e Crowley sono effettivamente una coppia. Altro piccolo dettaglio non canon: all’inizio della storia, Crowley non vive a Mayfair ma a Bloomsbury, per esigenze di trama.

    La fiction è completa, posterò un capitolo ogni domenica.

    Crowley ricomincia a piangere. Non riesce a trattenersi. Aziraphale è tutto quello che gli permette di restare intero, di non frantumarsi come un vaso che cade a terra. L’angelo lo tiene stretto mentre quei singhiozzi terribili lo squassano e gli fanno dolere il petto, e quando parla la sua voce ribolle di rabbia trattenuta a fatica.
    “Non succederà mai più, te lo giuro. Farò la mia parte, da adesso in poi.”

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    6,688
    Chapters:
    3/11
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    36
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley have a brief, bittersweet reunion when Aziraphale returns from Heaven to warn Crowley that he doesn't have faith in his own ability to prevent Armageddon. Crowley comforts him physically and by expressing a belief in his angel.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,167
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    9
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    95
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale questioned how he got to this point in his life. With a quick mental check, he realised that there were four uncomfortable truths he had to come to terms with in very quick succession:

    1. He was 50 years old, and had never done anything as insane as this in his quiet, celibate life.

    2. There was a pretty obvious reason why he'd reluctantly chosen a career as a priest.

    3. He didn’t particularly hate the fact that his bastard friend thought a strip club was a good idea to celebrate his Golden Birthday.

    4. He might be irrevocably in love with the half naked, 30-something red-head currently giving him a lap dance in the middle of said strip club.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    462,920
    Chapters:
    40/57
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    1,098
    Kudos:
    544
    Bookmarks:
    130
    Hits:
    31,095
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley have been invited to a costume party. Aziraphale had the perfect costume, as well as a plan to give Crowley a taste of his own sexy medicine. What could possibly go wrong?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,887
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    3
    Kudos:
    14
    Hits:
    66
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Una cosa che ho scritto di notte, perché ho una tosse devastante e non riesco a dormire e si vede 🤣😵‍💫
    Giuro che sono sicura che non accadrà uno scenario simile!
    Semplicemente, durante il Inkoctober su Instagram, ho visto delle fan art stupende e il quarto giorno il tema era la morte e mi è capitato di vedere proprio una fan art stupenda su ciò che accade qui, Crowley che, disperato dalla perdita del suo angelo, commette un gesto estremo e Aziraphale che trova i suoi vestiti, nella disperazione più totale.
    Non ricordo assolutamente l autrice di ciò, Shame of me, ma era una fan art talmente bella e straziante da avermi ispirato tutto ciò.
    Ma state tranquilli, sappiamo tutti come andrà a finire, quindi fidatevi di me e non odiatemi proprio tanto🤣
    Il titolo è una reference a Iris dei Goo goo dolls, canzone che adoro e tanto AziraCrow's coded!
    Fate uscire questo finale!!!!!! Non c'è la facciamo più!🙏🙏🙏🙏

    Language:
    Italiano
    Words:
    4,109
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    8
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Smutty sketches of varying spiciness for the Ineffable Kinktober 2025 prompt list by Quefish77. More tags will be added throughout the month.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    49
    Kudos:
    166
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    3,642
  8. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley wakes up laying on the ground by a wooded area covered in blood. He is weak and his head aches and he is suffering from amnesia. So many questions and Crowley wants answers.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,694
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    8
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    331
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Overstimulation: intentionally overwhelming a participant's senses by excessively stimulating them past a point of hypersensitivity.

    -

    All the angel is doing, really, is repaying him. Crowley likes orgasms, and Aziraphale has always been one to support indulgence. In fact, it’s a generous favour, what he’s doing for Crowley, giving him what he likes. In the angel’s opinion, you can never have too much of a good thing.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,114
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    18
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    272
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Blindfold: receiving pleasure from being blindfolded during sexual stimulation.

    Restraint: tying parts of a person's body so that they cannot move in order to get or give sexual pleasure.

    -

    Crowley blushes. “Right, angel, sorry, what were you thinking?” He coughs and adds in a mumble, “Just wanna, y’know… make you happy.”

    Aziraphale smiles fondly, feeling very happy indeed. “You do, darling. I just thought—well, maybe we could try some things. In the bedroom.”

    “Oh,” Crowley says. “Oh! Yeah, sure, that—that’s fine, that’s cool, er, yeah, all good, just—”

    “Crowley,” Aziraphale repeats. The demon nods, visibly gulping. “You can say no, you know.”

    “No, no, I want to. Just… what did you have in mind?”

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,819
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    246
  11. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of art for my Troll Aziraphale AU.

    Ranges from SFW to very NSFW.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    259
    Chapters:
    24/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    129
    Kudos:
    613
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    76,554
  12. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale decides to make an 'effort'. To test things out. Just in case he might ever need it. In the future. Make sure it ... looks right.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,405
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    66
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    439
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley and him had the quiet everyday they had always longed for, where they could enjoy each other’s company without having to worry about prying eyes. And occasionally, a whirlwind of impulse and disinhibition carried them out of their comfortable retirement on ridiculous (and more often than not both violent and lecherous) adventures.
    It was perfect, which meant that Aziraphale should have expected it when his actual punishment came.

    Or

    More than 4 years after the events of “Sympathy for the Devil” Heaven finally retaliates. Aziraphale gets hurt, Crowley gets scared, and Lucifer is most displeased.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,238
    Chapters:
    7/8
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    332
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Ineffable Kinktober - 2025
    No idea how many of these I will do!
    I'll note a rating for each chapter (most will be E - I expect!) and any TW etc.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,285
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    65
    Kudos:
    76
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,997
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley makes the 'mistake' of telling Aziraphale that he wants to be crushed by him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,268
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    25
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    228
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley arrives at the Johnson Space Center, where he will train for a year to prepare for six months aboard the International Space Station. He is excited. Ready to reach the nebulas. Even though his past military trauma overshadows everything he does. Chaplain Aziraphale, hired three years ago for the brand-new NASA chaplaincy program, finds caring for the astronauts to be a breath of fresh air. Especially since NASA is the latest of a long line of failed parishes in a career directed by his brother, Gabriel.

    Their paths collide when Crowley, after suffering a panic attack in a simulation, stumbles into the orbit of Chaplain Aziraphale. Crowley finds unexpected solace and acceptance in their relationship, and Aziraphale begins to believe he can be more than the subservient chaplain his family expects. It remains to be seen whether they can truly find their way together through the stars.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    145,660
    Chapters:
    33/45
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    703
    Kudos:
    124
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    5,742
  17. Tags
    Summary

    A Good Omens podfic

    Rated: E
    Summary: When Aziraphale gets hit with a demonic lust spell, it’s up to Crowley to rescue him and fend off a very horny angel.

    Written by demonsandpieohmy
    Cover art by Elenthya
    Narrated and edited by vixenfics

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    42
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    2,156
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley have just found out they've been following the wrong boy for years. They retire to the bookshop to drink and well... they've had a second arrangement for sometime now and Crowley thinks that with three days until the end of the world they should take advantage of it.

    (Aziraphale is sucessfully tempted and lots of smut happens. Crowley is a mess about it all but everyone has a very nice time.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,609
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    29
    Kudos:
    115
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    2,197
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale and Crowley share a moment of intimacy after they have oysters in Rome but also feel the need to hide their feelings. Fast forward to post-Second Coming, Aziraphale discovers something about Crowley that connects back their first time in Rome, and encourages him to not hide anymore…

    For the Ineffable Kinktober prompts "Ancient Rome" and "Tattoos"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,495
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    37
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    315
  20. Tags
    Summary

    In dire need of some peace and quiet away from the bustling city, Aziraphale agrees to look after his friends’ dog while they’re away for three weeks.

    Between fluffy shenanigans, sudden rainstorms and pointed Tarot readings, any hope for peace or quiet gets snipped away when his eyes land on the handsome–and quite grumpy–gardener.

    A gardener AU, heavy on the rom-com.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,914
    Chapters:
    4/6
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    62
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    977

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